Reflection from Sachsenhausen- after the dust settled.

On Sunday, our visit to the concentration camp left me with an overwhelming feeling of dispair.  Because most of the camp had been destroyed, we were warned that we would have to "use our imagination" and yet, upon visiting, it was crystal clear just how horrendous life must have been for the victims.  The wind was blowing and it was raining on and off...an eery reminder of just how dark our surroundings were. When we went inside one of the living quarters, I was shocked to learn that around 200 victims were forced to live on top of each other in a space that was just a little bit bigger than my apartment.  Every day was the same and while the days involved role call, work, punishment, etc. it was thinking about people during the night that really made me so upset.  We learned that the Nazi's were known to barge in and wake people up to torture them at all hours of the night.  The days were so very miserable for them that it was hard to think that even at night, there was not even a couple of hours where one could escape within their dreams and have some peace (either because of the cold, the amount of people, or the Nazi's constantly coming in and out).  I kept thinking how shocked I was that anyone could survive a week in such conditions, let alone months and even years.  When we visited the crematorium, I was so very sad to think about how scary the last moments must have been for so many. It was so unfair.  I thought about all that happens when someone dies in our lives and how we recognize their life through a funeral, and offer support and love to the family days, weeks and even years after the death so they can mourn.  How could so many have spent their final moments in one place? kept going through my mind.  At the museum, I learned that when the victims would arrive at the camp, the Nazi's would purposely give them the wrong size uniform (either too big or too small) to make them look and feel ridiculous.  As if every other aspect of their life was not miserable enough, I couldn't believe the Nazi's were actually thinking about finding EVERY way possible to punish these people.  I kept thinking...enough already!  And yet it just kept going on.   I was so grateful to have the opportunity to return back to the hotel and have our group discussion.  So often, when you get so many smart and educated people together, such discussions can turn into debates and become quite confrontational. I was amazed at how kind and respectful each member was to every person in our group.  It was a safe space for us to process such a heavy day and really brought us so much closer